_[CONTENT WARNING: This post contains screenshots of messages submitted to Euphoria Tricking by members of the tricking community. Some contain graphic, aggressive language. Senders have been kept anonymous. Receivers were given the choice to stay anonymous or include their name with their screenshot submission.]_
For the majority of trickers, we are often drawn to the sport because of how cool it looks, the surge of euphoria after landing a new trick, the things we get to learn about ourselves, our bodies, and of course the amazing, loving community. It feels like stepping into a world of sunshine and rainbows.
But unfortunately for some, this magical world can also be a warzone.
Screenshot 1 submitted by Eleisia Henson / Screenshot 2 submitted by Tori Fecteau
Some trickers are constantly on the defense, constantly hyperaware, defending their space to be able to train—fighting, flighting, freezing, appeasing, finding smooth ways to avoid uncomfortable situations, just to feel safe. It's no secret that the tricking community is male-dominated. What's less known is what a girl has to go through because of that.
I used to question that maybe I was the only one going through this. I felt like I was the only one who had to jump through all these hoops just to do what I loved. Was I doing something wrong? Would I have these same problems if I were a boy? I was constantly labeled as “drama” and blamed for situations between others when I had no idea anything was even going on, just because I was the girl.
I would often hear stories about myself and be slut-shamed for them. (Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior regarding their sexuality.) I heard stories about guys "getting me," how easily they could've gotten me, or even about relationships I didn’t know I had. I didn't think it was real-life that people could lie about such a situation or be that delusional!
Screenshot submitted by Tori Fecteau
I would be accused of wanting to trick only for the attention of boys, and I was told that my love for tricking wasn't pure. I was constantly put in a box because of my gender, and many treated me like I was incapable because of my gender. I had to be wary of every tip I got that was "catered to my female body" and of every guy who was just "being nice and wanted to help me."
And to be fair, many of these guys probably had good intentions! Maybe they didn’t realize that their words were so hurtful. I’m not here to label or cancel anyone—just explain things from my perspective, and hopefully create some understanding. After all, even guys who have said really creepy, inappropriate things to me are just human beings with their own fears and insecurities, just like me. Basically, bad behavior doesn’t make someone a bad person—but it does need to be addressed, so that we can all hopefully be better in the future.
For example, I would sometimes receive really misogynistic, hateful comments. All these years, I thought I was the only one who received these kinds of messages. It wasn’t until Euphoria asked for screenshots that I found out I wasn’t alone. The screenshots in this article were submitted from multiple sources, but this particular one was sent to me when I first started tricking. This was long before Euphoria, when there were only a handful of girls in the community:
Screenshot submitted by Tricia Carney
Of course in my heart I knew it wasn’t true, yet I felt I was to blame for being bullied for loving a sport that was male-dominated. All I wanted to do was have friends who shared the same passion. I’d be lying if I said I was completely invincible to these messages—I felt confused and isolated. I felt frustration and anger. My male friends didn’t have to deal with this. They could freely train and freely live their lives, and I just wanted to be free, too.
In my head, I reasoned that boys with fragile egos just needed to feel powerful, and that being one of the only girls, I was an easy target. But I still felt this extra burden of constantly having to prove myself, prove it for the girls, prove that we belonged here. I fought to be seen as simply another tricker, rather than being categorized with false expectations of how a girl is “supposed” to trick. I hated being put on a pedestal, being seen as THE dream girl, "YOU'RE MY SOULMATE," just because I happened to trick, and girls in this sport were so rare. Boys often fell in love with the idea of being with a girl tricker, rather than actually seeing me as a human.
Screenshot submitted by Isak Stokkeland
I tried countless maneuvers to give myself space and freedom from these situations, to train without causing too much trouble, many of which didn't even work. I did silly things like wear baggy clothes to blend in and hide myself, walked "like a boy" with huge lats, tried to be as small as possible, ninja'd through gatherings to lose people, hid behind my friends as if I were just hanging out, waited till everyone was asleep or not looking to throw tricks, refrained from posting videos, changed my gender/sexual preference/relationship status on Facebook to everything I wasn't, the list goes on. When all else failed, I'd just put on my imaginary horse blinders, pretended nothing was happening, and tried to just focus on training.
Screenshot submitted by Tori Fecteau
Throughout the years, I would get excited seeing new girls come into the community. I was excited to feel less alone. I would observe that they'd go through similar things at gatherings, but with my horse blinders on, I never thought anything of it. And as the pattern went, not too long later, they would stop tricking. I never connected the two. I just never understood why anyone would want to leave this magical world. Years ago, one girl even came to me about an incident that made her feel unsafe. When she told me what happened, it just seemed like normal behavior that I was used to, and I caught myself making excuses for the guy in question. It was like I couldn't even hear her because I hadn't faced my own trauma.
But we at Euphoria have been working to become a better, wiser resource for girls (and boys!) who are targeted or harassed by their fellow trickers—and recently, we started some exciting new projects. One of them included acquiring screenshots of things that guys would say to female trickers, just to bring awareness to the kind of things girls have to deal with. We wanted to share these conversations (anonymously) to help trickers learn how to say things better, or even what not to say at all. Something we didn't anticipate is how dark these conversations/situations would be.
Screenshot submitted by an anonymous male tricker
We found that many girls felt as isolated as I did. Many felt they couldn't say anything because they would be dismissed, shut out, made out to be a liar, or labeled as “drama” because the offender was an influential tricker in the community. Many stopped going to gatherings or stopped tricking altogether because they couldn't find a safe space to train. It hurts my soul to think about the wonderful life I would've missed out on if I let myself stop tricking. Is this a big reason why the female tricking community is so small? Is this why it has taken forever to grow to where it is now? As more and more young girls are entering this world, we at Euphoria feel driven to protect them and create a world where they don't have to receive such treatment. But this has to be a community effort.
Both screenshots submitted by an anonymous female tricker
In the screenshots above, you can see for yourself. This is a side of the tricking community that many are unaware of, want to ignore because it's not happening to them, or don’t want to believe because it involves their friends/someone that was cool in person. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it will make our whole community healthier.
Yes, the things being said in these messages are some combination of inappropriate, predatory, and just totally fucked up. But my challenge for you is to truly and honestly ask yourself: Have you had similar beliefs and thoughts in the past? Have you ever judged a girl’s worth based on her clothes or sexual activity? Have you ever assumed that a girl was flirting just because she smiled at you?
If you’ve had those thoughts and feelings, that is okay! That doesn’t make you a bad person. I know I have had many of these beliefs in the past—sometimes I even still catch myself now. What matters more than anything is moving beyond hurtful stereotypes and becoming more understanding, empathetic humans in the future.
With that in mind, below you’ll find a survey with the intention of depicting a clearer picture, using the data to show the magnitude of sexual misconduct within the tricking community. If you decide to respond, your identity will be kept completely anonymous. Thank you so much in advance for sharing your story and helping us spread awareness of this issue. I believe as a community, we can work together to create a more welcoming space for everyone, and re-focus our attention on this beautiful sport and art that we love so much.
Survey: Sexual Misconduct in Tricking
Tricia Carney is a tricker of 10+ years and a cofounder of Euphoria Tricking. With her passion for bringing the love and euphoria of tricking into everyone's lives, she teaches tricking full-time and works toward creating a safe space for everyone in the community. Follow her on Instagram at @sillytrishee